THE PETER PAN SYNDROME
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But, why call it Peter Pan?
The Peter Pan Syndrome (PPS) is named after a character who lives in Neverland,
a place where children do not age. This very idea, of being saved from the
grasp of reality and flying into a place where they can play, party, dance,
laugh and have a complete removal from the other dimension known as an everyday
life; this is too wonderful not to consider. According to these men who suffer
from this condition; adults politely try to burst their pink bubble with rules
and reminders about the “real world”. The Peter Pans believe that the adult
world is extremely problematic and they worship youth, which is why they want
to stay in this state of privilege.
An example of a PPS could be the
legendary Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson was Peter Pan himself; he created
his own peculiar Neverland.
This syndrome is yet not considered a psychopathology. It can affect both sexes, but it appears more
often among men.
Here are some of the
characteristics to recognize them:
a.
Inability to
take upon responsibilities.
b.
Inability to
commit or keep promises.
c.
Excessive
care about the way they look, their well-being.
d.
Fear of
loneliness.
e.
Emotionally
stagnant at an adolescent stage.
f.
Strive to
show “Macho”.
g.
Extremely good
social manners.
h.
Concerned
about others opinions, especially males.
i.
Level best
to help everyone else except his partner.
j.
Looks for
independence and freedom.
k.
Finds
boundaries and limits intolerable.
PPS and relationships…
The PPS describe men, who are childish
in their relationships, their inability to handle responsibilities and their
pursuit of enjoyment. They cope with
their problems with denial -If I don’t think about it, the problem will
disappear. – They constantly change partners looking for younger ones. When a relationship rises to a certain level
of commitment and responsibility, they become afraid and break it up.
PPS and emotions…
Emotions are very hard to handle
for a person suffering from PPS. - They love or care for you, but can’t
remember to express their love.- At
times they appear warm and loving, but these feelings change quickly into apathy;
which confuses their partners. Some of these men say that they have become cold
and indifferent, that they have lost their emotions and they don’t know what
they feel anymore.
PPS and people…
These people are usually scared of
loneliness, which is why they try to surround themselves with people who can
meet their needs. The sufferer urgently needs to fit in. It seems that there is
a huge emptiness in his life. They bolt to rescue someone (a friend, a relative,
a contact) from a problem (small or big), at times without warning their mates
that they have left the house.
The Wendy Dilemma…
Okay boys, you are not the only
ones with emotional behavior troubles. The Wendy Dilemma refers to women who in
a relationship behave like a parent more than like a partner. They mother their
mates, treating them like immature children. Most of them claim that they don’t
have two or three children, adding one more to the number referring to their
husband. They lack self-identity basing their security on others approvals and
making sure they have an acceptable social image.
NEET generation
NEET means youngsters that are not
in education, are not in employment and are not in training. This generation is
associated with the PPS. 50% of the NEET generation find themselves this
situation because of the credit crunch and the world economy. But the rest of
the 50% are in this situation for the reason of they love not bearing any adult
responsibilities and they have the means to be able to stay in this stage of
life.
So, what do I do if I know someone with PPS?
The person who suffers from this is
not aware of the problem. The only solution is the right psychological
treatment, not only centered on the person who suffers from the disorder but a treatment joined with
his family as well. Do remember, that not every man who have a few of these
symptoms have the PPS. Men with this
diagnostic can have a different degree of the syndrome and for this reason not
all treatments are carried out the same way. Let’s not forget, that the mind of
every individual is a unique and mysterious world.
“Growing up is losing some
illusions, in order to acquire others.” (Virginia
Woolf)
